Painkiller Jane: Killing Emotional Pain
by TheHeadInCharge
Summary: This is a story based on Painkiller Jane. I mean the comic book version of the character. Jane sets out to find her former fiance and try to resolve some issues she had after waking from a two-year coma and finding out her life wasn't what it used to be.
1. Chapter 1

Painkiller Jane

**Disclaimer: I only own copies of comics of the "Painkiller Jane" series, as well as the DVD boxed set of the short-lived TV show. Jimmy Palmiotti and Joe Quesada created the character and I am at their mercy. That goes the same for Dynamite Comics and/or Marvel, who have the rights to the new series of comics that will come out eventually.**

**Author's note: Okay, for those who have read the comics, particularly the original Painkiller Jane series from 1997 (the TPB is available, by the way), you would probably know how Jane's life turns out after being in a coma. However, I felt that some issues were never resolved. Hope you enjoy. Peace.**

After being in a coma for two years, I never knew how much change things would occur in my life, if you could call it that.

After I awoke from my coma, I found out some changes have been made. My parents died. The love of my life moved on and married someone. My whole life has been shattered from that point on.

The only friend who had remained by my side was my longtime partner and friend, Maureen Fernandez. She had suffered a loss as well. Her husband Raymond was killed in a bust at the same time I had almost died while Maureen and I were undercover trying to bust the Blanco Brothers. However, Maureen blew our covers when she raced out the door after hearing that her husband was shot in a bust. Sometimes I think that she still remains in my life out of guilt of what had happened.

I also made somewhat of a new friend in the process and his name is Seth Hiller. He is a nurse at the hospital I frequent because I get hurt so many times. I surprise myself that I never get killed because of this strange healing technique that I have. I also see that he is madly in love with me, but I wonder myself if I actually return his interest, even though I tell myself that I don't.

I also have some other friends, if you can call them that, in the 22 Brides. They are a gang of women (and a man who dresses like a woman) who are hired guns and always willing to help me out if I am in a jam. I have helped them out before in a job trying to bring down Don Joe Fonti and they have helped me many times as well.

Even though I have the ability to heal from physical pain and I don't die so easily, I still hurt from the broken heart that I suffered after realizing that my parents are dead and my one true love, Mark Willofsky, had married someone else while I was in a coma. A lady who lives at the house that we used to live in told me that he had moved to Long Island.

I know he has moved on from me, but why do I feel like I want to find him? I have a feeling that deep down, he still loves me. I couldn't control what had happened in those two years I was in a coma. He couldn't, either. For all he knew, I probably wouldn't have woken up from the coma at some point, if at all.

This life I live as a vigilante may be hard work and hurts like hell, literally, but I still hurt from the fact that my fiancé who I was going to marry had ran off with some other woman. Okay, maybe that wasn't the case, but I still hurt from it. We had known each other since we were kids and we fell in love while we were in high school.

I never thought I would say this, but I have to find him. I must see him again. I really wonder what led him to move on from me like that. I might need some help in finding him. I must find Mark Willofsky.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

After a lot of nights of fighting crime and suffering so much pain at the hands of criminals, I figured that it was time to at least have a night off. Crime will never end in NYC, but there have been some surprisingly peaceful nights. Some of the time, I'll just have my friends The 22 Brides handle matters. After all, I help then quite often and were more than willing to let me just rest for at least one night. However, I felt like needed some company.

I had called Maureen that night and asked if we could meet up somewhere so that we could talk. I know I'm not the most pleasant person to be around these days but I just need a friend to talk to.

She wondered why when I asked to meet up because we see each other a lot, but there are some things I need from her. I need her to help me find Mark.

We met at the diner somewhere in Manhattan where we often go to but we were both in disguise, in fear that her fellow cops might see her and if any thugs see me.

Maureen, wearing a hat and coat, looked up at me, wearing a coat and some shades, as well as a hood over my head, quietly called me over to her. I sat at the table with her, ready to talk about my forthcoming journey.

"Hi, Jane," Maureen said. "How are you doing tonight?"

"Fine, Mo," I said, barely looking at her because I have so much on my mind. "Just been thinking a lot and hurting a lot."

Maureen looked at me like she wasn't surprised to hear me say that. "Well, I know that you hurt a lot, especially with what you do and go through."

I replied. "Well, actually, I am feeling just fine regarding that. I am hurting in some other way. I've been thinking a lot."

"What do you mean?" Maureen asked me now ridden with confusion and curiosity. It was bound to come up with why I asked her to meet me tonight.

"I've been hurting emotionally lately," I said. "It's been that way for a while actually, but I feel that I need to do something to help ease or end my emotional pain."

A waiter came to us and asked what we would like. We both asked for coffee. It was quick and easy but my meeting with Maureen isn't.

"Okay, Jane, I have to ask," Maureen said. "What's been bothering you lately?"

I had to get it off my chest and now was the time. No way was I going to beat around the bush with this one. I had to come out and saying.

"I've been thinking a lot about my former life and how nothing was the same anymore after I had woken up from my two-year coma. I was walking around my old neighborhood where Mark and I were living and it turned out some other people were living there. A lady told me that Mark had married someone else and moved to Long Island while I was in my coma. I had also found out that my parents' house belonged to some other people and then came the point when I found out that they were dead."

Maureen looked at me with some kind of emotion. "I don't think I've told you this, but while you were in a coma, I visited your parents on a regular basis to see how they were holding up with you in the hospital. They were very sad that their daughter almost died and were sure that she wasn't going to live anymore. They even supported me in my loss of Raymond. They even went to his funeral. I still visited them and it turned into every night and that was when I realized that they started hitting the bottle really hard. They were afraid that you were never going to wake up, so they tried to ease the pain with drinking but after a while, it got worse. I still remember going to their house and finding that they were dead. I couldn't believe it. Around that same time, I had to go and see you and I was hoping that you would wake up, but you still didn't. I even went to their funeral."

My eyes shifted at the table and towards her many times. I know I wasn't the only one who lost someone but the difference but me and Maureen is that I lost a lot more in my life. Nothing was the same anymore. I had missed on a lot of changes. I may not look like it, but deep down, just hearing her say all of that made me feel really sad, much sadder than ever, to be exact.

"I remember you telling me that Raymond died. I know that when you stormed out of the room that night, blowing our cover in the process, you wanted to be there for your husband. I know that I should be angry at you for what you did, but I really don't blame you for doing that. I know how much you loved him and how much he meant to you."

Maureen had that look of guilt on her face. I can tell that she still misses her late husband but she is still shaken over leaving me wide open.

Maureen looked like she was about to cry a bit. "If only I could go back to that night or at least turn down that undercover job…"

"Don't cry, Maureen," I said. "What's done is done. We can't change anything."

"Yes, but I still think about Raymond every night," Maureen said, with so much emotion in her voice. "I know that you lost your parents, but I lost my husband to a fatal gunshot. I still look at our wedding photos. All those moments are gone. I remember you were in my wedding. You caught the bouquet. Mark caught the garter. I still even look at all the other pictures of Raymond and I. I lost the one man who I have ever loved."

"I, too, lost the love of my life," I said, as the waiter came by to give us our coffees. "However, he is still alive."

Maureen looks up at me and is starting to wonder what I am getting at.

"I want to find him," I said.

"What?" Maureen said with a lot of confusion. "You want to find him?"

"That's what I said, right?" I said. "I have to see him again."

"I must tell you the whole thing about Mark," Maureen said. "You have no idea how devastated he was while you were in your coma. I still remained in contact with him during that time. He supported me in my loss of Raymond, I even saw him some nights he went by your parents' home. He tried to support them. We all tried to support each other. However, the last time I had seen him was at your parents' funeral. He was still shaken over everything that had happened, but then I saw that he was with another woman."

"The woman he later married?" I asked, though I figure that it's her.

"I believe so, but he came up to me and told me everything," Maureen said.

"What did he say?" I asked.

Maureen looked directly in my eyes as she was about to tell me something that may break my heart more or may try to put a few pieces back together. "He told me that he still loves you and will always love you, but he also feared that you may never live again. Even he had trouble coping with some pain but he said that there comes a time when one has to move on from a lot of pain and that there a lot of ways to be happy again. He then left and that was the last I had seen him. I know he moved to Long Island and has his own private practice now, but that is pretty much all I know what he has done since then."

I didn't know what to think anymore. I was already aware that he had married someone else, but I feel that I need to see him one more time to get some kind of closure with him. I started to shed a tear after Maureen told me what happened with Mark and with my parents. I may get shot often, I may have been stabbed, I may have been shocked or fallen off of buildings. Yes, those things hurt like hell, but they hurt a lot less than a broken heart. No physical pain hurts worse than emotional pain.

"I want you to help me find him," I said.

"Jane, I know that you are still hurting…" Maureen said.

"I know that I am, but I need to see him again," I said. "I just want to see him one more time, to let him know that I never got over him and will always love him. Can you please help me find him?"

Maureen took a deep breath and nodded her head. I can see how reluctant she is to do this, but she knows that I need to do this. It's best that I get some closure with one man who I have loved. Sure, there might be some feelings blossoming towards Seth these days, but those feelings are nowhere near close to what I had for Mark.

_I will find you, Mark Willofsky. I still think about you all the time._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I set out my journey to find my ex-fiancé in ways that I don't think could be right. My friend Maureen agreed to help me, even though I can see that she is very unwilling to do this. She is a detective, an officer of the law if you will. For her to help out a friend by getting information for a long lost loved one just says that she is only doing this as a favor, but it almost seems like she is assisting a stalker, at least that is what she said.

I wouldn't call it "stalking" per se. I just want to see Mark again. No amount of physical pain can hold a candle to the amount of emotional pain that I've had. I still can't believe that my parents are gone. I still can't believe Mark left me. But then again, who knew that I would wake up from my coma?

Maureen went by my hideout to give me some information on where to find Mark. I know Mark is a lawyer and is a legal partner to a couple of other lawyers, so he has a practice somewhere in Long Island. I was given an address and a phone number to try to reach him.

One thing I wonder is the chance he would recognize me. No longer is my hair as long as he remembered it. My hair is shorter than he remembers it. I am no longer clean-cut like he remembers me, even though I still remember coming home at night looking like hell because I worked undercover against The Blanco Brothers and it later on involved using drugs. The point is that I know that it will be hard for him to recognize me. He probably would be shocked at the fact that I am still living, not to mention that I am a vigilante who can't be killed so easily.

I don't know if this is considered a vacation or not. I know I went on a vacation sometime ago when I met Ajira, someone who I had a small fling with, then fought with her against some international terrorists. I do need to get away for a bit, but this is something that I need to do, one last look at the one man who I loved.

I waited at the train station. I was waiting for a train to go to Long Island. Suddenly, Maureen shows up.

"Hey, Jane," Maureen said. "Just want you to know that I understand why you are doing this and I hope things go well."

"Thanks, Mo," I said. "I really need some closure. What is going to happen while I'm gone?"

"Don't worry, Jane," Maureen said. "I can always have my squad take care of matters. Maybe Carrie, Libby and the rest of The 22 Brides can help a bit. They're willing to do you a favor as well."

"Well, tell Carrie and Libby I said thanks as well," I said. I turn around see the train pull up. I walk in, ready to embark on seeing Mark Willofsky. He will be surprised to see me, I just know it. I know that he is married to someone else, probably has kids with this woman also, but I know deep down, he still thinks about me.

I sit in the train thinking about Mark and I used to have. Before I left, I found some pictures I had left of Mark and I. I am sure that Mark still has the rest somewhere, but Maureen told me sometime before that Mark gave her some pictures to give to me when I wake up, or at least for her to remember us if I didn't. I stare at these pictures and look back at the love we had for each other.

I arrived in Long Island after spending hours on the train, reminiscing all the times I had with Mark, thinking about the good times that are gone for good. What do I have in this life now? Maureen may be the only true friend I still have these days. Yes, I know I also have Seth, who is quite the lifesaver and is a really good doctor. We have gone on a date before and I might have some feelings for him, but I can't say for sure. As for The 22 Brides, well they're good help to me. With the way Carrie and Libby lead that team, they are good mercenaries and not so bad of people to be around. I guess I'm just not the best person to be around a lot. It's mostly me.

I think about how my life was before. My parents raised me and my brother Ashley. I used to have a dog who I loved so much named Poochie. He had to get put down. I loved that dog so much. I think about my days at the police academy. Maureen was my roommate and partner, and we became friends that way.

Look at my life now. I have nothing left to live for or to lose. My body can heal gunshot wounds, stab wounds, anything that can cause permanent pain and I still keep myself going. I also fight scumbags and lowlifes. I used to be a cop until the day I was left for dead by a couple of drug dealers when my cover got blown. I am sure that nobody even knows that Jane Vasko is still actually alive. I may actually be alive, but not enough that I feel like I am actually living anymore.

I made sure that I had enough money for this trip. I managed to snag some money after taking out some thugs in recent memory. They had no use for the money anymore, so it was mine. "To the victor go the spoils" like some would say. I used some of this money that I had to pay for a hotel and a car rental. It doesn't matter if I stay at a cheap hotel or a nice one, same with using a clunker or a nicer car, either way is fine with me.

I drive by and find the law offices where Mark works, the offices of "Palmiotti, Quesada and Willofsky." I get out of the car, ready to do something that I don't know if I should do this, but I had been planning this for a while.

_Here goes nothing._

I walk into the lobby and see a receptionist at the front desk. She is a woman in her mid-20s, pretty, well-kept, seems like she is a woman of her job.

"Hello, may I help you, miss," the receptionist asked, as I walked up to the desk.

"Yes, you may," I said. "Is Mr. Willofsky in his office?"

"He is in a very important meeting right now," the receptionist said. "Do you have an appointment by any chance?"

"No, that's okay, I'll just come back another time," I said as I started to walk away.

"Well, ma'am, if you want, I could schedule you an appointment," the receptionist said. "Just let me know the time and we can work something into his schedule."

"That's okay," I said as I got closer to the door. "You don't have to do that."

"But miss…?" the receptionist said.

That woman was very insistent and I can see that she is just trying to do her job, but I don't need an appointment. I just need to get shit done.

I sat in the car for hours and even slept a bit. At some point, I woke up and I see Mark getting out of the office building, talking with colleagues and clients, shaking hands with those people. He doesn't look that much different from how I remember him, except his hair isn't as curly as it used to be. His hairline has receded a bit, but I can tell that's him. He enters his car with his briefcase. I start the engine up and I start to follow him.

_I can't believe I am doing this, but then again, I have stalked the worst criminals out there. How is this any different?_

I followed him through every turn he made until he finally made it home, at least I think it's his home. It's a very nice house that must have cost him and his wife a lot of money. If I remember correctly, he had plans for us to move to nicer home when we got married.

He gets out of the car and into his house. I just sit there and start remembering more about our history together, and then I also remember the night I woke up, in a full body cast, no less and went by what used to be the house we were living in. Everything from my former life was gone at that point.

I get out of the car and head right for his doorstep. I take a deep breath and ring the doorbell and knock on the door.

"Hey, Mark," a woman said. "Can you get that?"

"Sure, honey, I'll get the door," Mark said as he approached the door.

Mark opens the door. I look up at him, wearing shades and a coat, looking a lot different than how he remembers me.

"Hello, Mark," I said as I look directly in his eyes with my shades having slid down my nose a bit. "It's been a long time."

"Oh my god," Mark looks at me like he has seen a ghost. He couldn't be anymore shocked at the sight of me. "Jane, is that you?!"

"Honey, who is at the door," the woman asked as she approaches Mark and then she looks up at me with the same look of shock Mark had. "Oh my god."

I don't know who this woman is, but I am assuming that she is Mark's wife. She is shocked to see me, mostly because I can only guess that Mark has told her about me and all that stuff.

"Um, honey, remember that woman Jane I told you about?" Mark said.

The woman nods her head.

"Well, this is her," Mark said.

The woman, while shaken, sticks her hand out to greet me. "Hi, I'm Brooke. I am Mark's wife. It is nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too," I said.

Brooke says "If you'll excuse me, I have to go check on my son." Brooke leaves the doorway and Mark looks right at me like he wants to talk to me.

"Jane, I really don't know what to say," Mark said, still shaken as well. "I thought you were dead. Last time I saw you, you were in a…"

"Coma?" I said. "Yes, I know, but I'm alive, aren't I?"

"Yes, but you look so different than I remember," Mark said. "You look like hell, Jane."

"Thanks, you don't look so bad yourself," I said with so much sarcasm. I know I look like shit, but he looks great. Mark then invites me to come into his house. How could I say no?

Mark leads me into the living room where he wants to sit and have a chat with me.

"How did you find me?" Mark said.

"Maureen helped me," I said.

"Maureen helped?" Mark said. "How is she doing?"

I replied. "She is doing fine. She is an NYPD lieutenant now. She is still one of New York's finest. She is one of the best cops that I know. She is probably the only friend I still have."

Mark still couldn't believe that I am alive, let alone found him. This is going to be a long night. I think that it's about time that we have a nice chat about how our lives have been for a while now.


End file.
